FOUNDRYNEWS.com

It’s the end of the week, and the start of a long-as-hell weekend (for some) so spend it with an experienced older woman you barely know messing up a hotel room… and we don’t mean dropping candy on the floor, either

Silly boy, adultery is for adults. Stealing your parents’ smut is for kids. Yeah, we’re a wonderful influence

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you’re about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

A Gas station convenience store in Kansas City was almost robbed the other day:

…but the most interesting part of the story was this whacked-out lady who told her story to KMBC Channel 9.

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Because it’s our God-given right, we’re going to plug this one more time It’s the first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central…FOUNDRYTOONS… or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube

and because we’re just SO…GODDAMN…TALENTED, let’s give it up one more time for RETOOLED!

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

Whose fantastic ass could this be in some movie we’ve never heard of? (Drunken Stepfather)

We promise we won’t ruin it by saying something like “Good luck Chuck” or “Fantastic 4″… oh no. We wrecked it again

Ten TV Shows You Never Knew Existed (Gunaxin)

Diana Dagota. Sounds Exotic. Looks Erotic. We’re Psychotic. (Freakshow Planet)

Fall Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Simona is all about cleanliness. Here she is, taking a shower. outside. with people watching (z0d)

Brandon Jennings Goes All Ga-Ga [Video] (The Hoop Doctors)

Oh Jessica Marie, Why Won’t you look at me. Oh that’s right. You’re hot. (Dailyniner)

The Man Who Licked Princess Leia: An Interview With Jabba the Hutt Puppeteer Toby Philpott (inside Movies)

Facebook Founder Whines About His Privacy, Poor Baby (Gamma Squad)

When Stallone Met Twitter – Part 2 (Film Drunk)

Hilarious STFU Jesus Motivational Comics (Fork Party)

Ten Import Models to Look Out for at Car Shows This Year (Sub5Zero)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that you’re about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

Hey Look! Axl Rose and GUNS N’ ROSES walked out on stage late…AGAIN. Fans threw bottes…AGAIN…

Aaaand Axl had a fit and stormed off stage…AGAIN.

This husky fella is Russian guitarist Igor Presnyakov:

He’s playing the most baddest-ass version of METALLICA‘s “Fade To Black” you’ll ever hear.

From friggin’ amazing guitar players to fokkered up film trailers

Here’s the new trailer for the Ryan Reynolds claustrophobia-fest BURIED:

If you’re not fond of tight spaces, this movie should have you hyperventilating in NO time.

Don’t you go anywhere, madam! We have BOOBIES to show you!

Breastacular Kelly Madison and Sara Stone do their civic duty and haul out their huge boobs:

You can watch the full scene in the epic film Big Natural Titties 5 – on DVD, of course.

Young, impressionable busty blond Angie Savage is home, all alone, jamming her fingers down her throat:

Goodness golly, we hope she’s not bulimic. Oh wait. She’s not. We’re completely missing the point.

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you’re about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

A Russian Security guard fell asleep about 4 feet away from an armed robbery in progress

We smell job opening! Well, if you’re willing to relocate to Russia.

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Drumroll… Introducing the very first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central…FOUNDRYTOONS… or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube

and as long as we’re showcasing our original projects, let’s give it up one more time for RETOOLED!

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

Whose incredible ass could this possibly be? (Drunken Stepfather)

The 20 Hottest Celebrity Bikini Car Wash Photos (Sub5Zero)

Talia Kristin has 2 names, 2 boobs, 2 legs, 2 lips, 2 cheecks… youget the idea (Freakshow Planet)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Chrissy Marie can’t wait to roll around in the garden naked – watch out for poison ivy! (z0d)

The Best of the Worst: Wife Swap Edition (The Campus Socialite)

Someone tell Heather Carolin that her boobs are showing through her blouse. Ohhh, nevermind (Dailyniner)

Sweden Gets World’s Largest Drum Machine (Gamma Squad)

1st Pictures of Admiral Rihanna On ‘Battleship Alien’ (FilmDrunk)

5 Sci-Fi Series That Outlived Their Authors (Fork Party)

Photoshop’s New PhotoBomb Tool (College Humor)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that you’re about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

Jesse James Dupree and the guys in JACKYL have an interesting new business plan:

They’re not just sending out music to strip clubs, they’re showing up and playing on stage WITH strippers now. You know, cut out the middle man.

How come Chester Bennington is always screaming like he got kicked in the nuts in every LINKIN PARK video?

Seriously, what’s so F-ing painful?

By the way, LINKIN PARK’s New Album ‘A Thousand Suns’ goes on sale September 14th:

and where do you THINK we’re going from here? Yaaaay boobies!

Busty broads Brandy Talore and Sara Stone are showing off their large funbags:

You can watch the full scene in a li’l flick called Rock Hard 3.

our favorite sometimes-rehabilitated busty blond Mary Carey just HAS to masturbate before going out to eat:

We’re very similar like that. We masturbate a lot too.

It’s the middle of the week you should pick up your unemployment check and fornicate with a fellow non-worker… because what else do you have going on?

Exactly. Nothing. Losing Jobs and Nailing Friendly strangers. That’s what being an adult is all about.

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you’re about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

If you get a little worried when you’re on a long-ass plane trip…

then this video of a Quantas 747 Engine exploding mid-air should have the brownies flowing freely from your shorts.

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

because we’re oh-so-goddamn proud of ourselves…

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

Demi Moore has held up well. Dayum. (Drunken Stepfather)

And Goddamn…Demi Moore has enjoyed getting naked on camera a number of times. Hats off to Demi, and all MILFs like you…

5 Ways to Ease the Pain of a Heavy Workload (The Campus Socialite)

Tiffany Ryan has obnoxiously huge boobs (Freakshow Planet)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Ashley Jane is topless and pale skinned and…umm…what? (z0d)

5 Reasons Sports Will Suck For Our Kids (Smoking Jacket)

Hey Hey, it’s Amber Haye! (Dailyniner)

‘Eastbound & Down’ Season 2 Preview (Warming Glow)

Miranda Kerr Goes Topless In 3D (The Frisky)

The 17 T-Shirts Every College Student Owns (Brobible)

50 Yahoo Answers Fails (Fork Party)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that you’re about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

The other night in San Francisco, Lars Ulrich from METALLICA makes a last-minute request to MEGADETH’s Dave Mustaine:

…and the band launches into a song they haven’t played in years… or EVER with the current lineup. Nice, right?

Incidentally, the new MEGADETH DVD – ‘Rust In Peace LIVE’ is available on September 7th:

Corey Taylor and STONE SOUR had a NYC release party for their new disc ‘Audio Secrecy’:

And they ripped into a long-ass set, including “Say You’ll Haunt Me”, the first single off the new disc.

Speaking of the new album, Audio Secrecy (CD/DVD), you can order it online here (*cough* shameless plug *cough*):

Those wacky boys in 10 YEARS released a new video for “Shoot it Out”:

We’re detecting a tad of music-business-related angst. Just a tad.

From bands we once again segue into…BOOBIES! YAAAY!

We think Heather Vandeven could get naked faster if she only wore moo-moo’s:

Are we missing the point entirely? yeah, probably.

Jessica Sweet has very oily boobs… don’t worry. It’s not a skin condition…she’s just bein’ sexified:

You can watch her whole scene in all its hardcore goodness in Big Wet Tits 3 – On Demand Now… because you’re classy and you’re worth it.

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you’re about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, gets arrested like no one can:

Alain Robert should reallly invest in a Spider-Man costume if he’s gonna do shit like this, you know.

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

and once again with the congratulatory patting-ourselves-on-the-back shit…

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

Whose bra-less MILF boobs are these? (Drunken Stepfather)

No hints this time. You guess on your own… nope, we’re not going to mention “Invisible Woman” or “Shitty Dane Cook Movie about a guy named Chuck”. Dammit! Did it again.

Real Fun with Fake Weed (The Smoking Jacket)

Lori Michaels…looks REALLY familiar. can’t place her (z0d)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Animated GIF Of Jenni “JWoww” Farley Squeezing Her Boobs (Warming Glow)

PLAYBOY’s Jessica Marie is showing off her bare bottom (Dailyniner)

Adorable Tiny Predator Found In Luggage and Other Animal News (UPROXX)

When Good Cartoons Go Bad (Gunaxin)

Cute Missing Pet Posters (Fork Party)

Man Blows Himself Up Trying To Kill a Spider (Noob Dad)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that you’re about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

You really have to hand it to DISTURBED (on tour now – click for tix):

They managed to make Gorilla noises radio-friendly, and that kids… ain’t easy. Go see DISTURBED live, dag nabbit

Incidentally, the new DISTURBED albbum – ‘Asylum’ is available NOW! We got it. We dig it. You should have it. Go. Now. Get it!

The guys in JANE’s ADDICTION have a new DVD available and as one might expect, it’s kinda quirky:

It was also taped before Duff McKagan joined the band so Check it out HERE

From Arena Rock to Areolas… eh? Nice transition, right?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Angie Savage and she’s having a hell of a time feeling comfy in that tight red bra of hers:

Thankfully, bras come off easily and she can show off the badass wings she has on her back…and that was totally NOT our motivation for posting the clip.

Why in God’s name is Karina Hart getting a mold made of her huge boobs?

because somewhere, someone is going to want a latex, plaster, or gummi-bear mold of Karina Hart’s Huge Tits

How is sexy busty Czech babe Shione Cooper going to make a lonely game of pool more interesting?

She’s going to play pool topless, that’s how. It would certainly keep US interested…and we fucking HATE pool.

Haleluliah and holy shit! picking up any sexy bitches on the unemployment line today? They’re there if you look hard enough:

If you can deal with the woman being married – and honestly it’s not that big of a roadblock…then you’ll do just fine.

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you’re about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

Once again we have alcohol to thank for an obnoxious drunkard falling out of a moving vehicle while yelling “Hooray!”:

Now let’s all digital camcorders and videotape our friends doing dumb shit!

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

5 Ways to Piss Off A Girl (Campus Socialite)

Celeste Star will brighten up any Room…with her boobies (Freakshow Planet)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Savanah Gold has really big …hair..oh, and BOOBS too! (z0d)

Lexi Stone can’t keep her hands out of her pants (Dailyniner)

SpoCom 2010 Long Beach – Booth Babes, Promo Models, Go-Go Dancers & Girls Galore (Sub5Zero)

The 21 Most Cliche Dorm-Room Posters (Brobible)

John Cusack to play Edgar Allan Poe in ‘The Raven’ (I Heart Chaos)

Hipster Dinosaurs (Fork Party)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that you’re about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

After hitting the stage 60 minutes late Axl Rose and GUNS N’ ROSES kicked off the 2010 Reading Festival:

please buy Axl’s music. He needs to buy a new watch apparently.

…and staying (somewhat) in the GNR family, let’s take a look-see at SLASH – who is on tour now (click for tickets) and Fergie from BLACK EYED PEAS played out on the Sunset Strip the other night:

Paying homage to HEART and sport fishing…maybe… with their rendition of “Barracuda”

From Big Guns To Big… Boobs…

Large-breasted Daphne Rosen is interrogating Puma Swede in this poorly-acted scene:

If you want to see the whole shebang (heh. get it? She-bang?) Watch ‘BUSTED 2′ online now! because you really need to witness the whole thing to get the full effect.

Our favorite busty blond contestant on ‘Celebrity Rehab’, Mary Carey wants to wish you all a very happy 4th of July:

yeah yeah yeah, we’re a little late on this one. Who gives a shit? Look! Mary’s Boobs!

…and the story goes like this…

in 1997, a band called FOUNDRY released their first (and ONLY) CD, titled WHAT KILLS ME. At the time, it didn’t do much except sit on store shelves in Boston, Massachusetts, looking all swirly:

Oooh… Swirly… CLICK IT!

In 2009, we made the CD available online, worldwide via iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Napster, and countless other services…and it sold pretty damn well, much to our surprise.

Now, thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED – totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.

See? We even updated the cover art… now click it!

On RETOOLED, you’ll hear updated, badass versions of the following songs:
Pendulum
What Kills Me
Ain’t Like You (featuring Rob Balducci)
Black Lights, Bright City

Thanks to Chris at ThatWerks for updating the cover art
Thanks to our buddy Rob Balducci for lending his amazing guitar skills to “Aint Like You”
…and of course, thanks to the one, the only Rich DeCicco for making the songs into what they are now…from what they were.

Now Go and buy RETOOLED…because the songs are amazing… you’ll reall dig them. God knows we did.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Breanna Busts Out For PRETTY MAIDS – 21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna’s outstanding topless body. You’ll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life. Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium" and thanks be to our own Jon for the editing.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Breanna Busts Out For PRETTY MAIDS – 21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna’s outstanding topless body. You’ll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life. Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium" and thanks be to our own Jon for the editing.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna‘s outstanding topless body. You’ll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song “Pandemonium” and thanks be to our own Jon for the editing.

Click on Breanna’s ta-tas…watch the full vid…rock out for a while… then once you’re all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946

Thanks once again to those nice Danish guys in PRETTY MAIDS for the song “Pandemonium”, which is also the title track of their latest album:

You can also Download some PRETTY MAIDS at iTunes:

…and that should be it. video, thanks, comb, keys, money, wallet, rubbers, and change…

Whatcha waiting for? GO watch Breanna’s video already!

THAT’s TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here’s a mint and some Rogaine)

If you’re going to take out a freeway for six hours, you might as well do it Dukes of Hazzard style:

Car split into three pieces, and the kid LIVED… let’s all get dashboard-cameras and see what kind of mayhem we can record while driving!

THAT’s Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Someone tried to Kill Paris Hilton (WWTDD)

Say it ain’t so! the world needs vapid blockheads who get famous after releasing homemade sex tapes. Hell, that’s most of reality TV.

Someone’s surgically-enhanced ass was strolling through the sand (Drunken Stepfather)

C’mon this is an easy one it’s not like we haven’t posted links to her sex tape a hundred times before. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?

‘Star Wars’ Reimagined as Silent Films (MovieFone)

Giuliana Marino is one seriously spicy meatball…and she’s pretty cute too (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jessica Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Someone Should tell Jana Cova that her tiny necktie isn’t nearly enough to cover her for that interview at Hardee’s (z0d)

Jana and Jana are Just the Best Of Friends…who get naked a lot and lick each other (Dailyniner)

Catherine: The Weirdest Video Game You’ll Ever Play (The Campus Socialite)

Other Celebrity Stormtrooper Action Figures (Gunaxin)

Poodle Puppy Dances For Freedom (College Humor)

I’M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends’ names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

In retrospect, when you look at all the leather and chains ROB HALFORD shackles himself with:

…the whole gay thing isn’t really that shocking, is it?

The guys in MEGADETH are releasing Rust In Peace – LIVE, and this friends, is a little taste of “Holy Wars…The Punishment Due”:

Well, OK… it’s the WHOLE song. Mustaine’s guitar is so pointy, it’s a miracle no one in the band gets stabbed with it.

OUr amigos in DROWNING POOL paid homage to the PANTERA guys with their take on “Cowboys from Hell”:

Damn, there’s some cool shit going on at Ozzfest this year. We’s going!

Heavy Metal always leads to…Heavy Hooters!

In any normal job situation Capri Cavalli would get everyone in the office fired for pulling this shit:

But not in Smut-land! You can see the end result of Capri’s advances in the full version. It’s totally realistic, man. Really.

This beautiful blond bombshell is PLAYBOY’s Sofia Lane and she used to be 40 pounds heavier:

But she’s not anymore, so put away the harpoon guns and gawk at her shapely hiney in the shower.

We suggest that ALL women do their homework just like Kara:

topless, feeling herself up, in front of her laptop and big-ass flat screen TV Kiss Kara is a Homework Role Model, dammit.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to “Tattoos & Tequila” by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil’s Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.

Click on Emi’s very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you’d like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don’t want any of that drunk-typing happening)